You’ve got a (virtual) friend in me
F-R-I-E-N-D-S, every time I think of the word “friends” it automatically comes to my mind that incredible dynamic that we all saw on television that was carried out between department partners who fall in love, get married, are all attractive or funny, support each other in the good and bad, and especially spend time together. Yes I am singing the song between lips, because being honest, like it or not, we have all seen this show, wished to be as organized as Monica, as charming as Joey, as authentic as Phoebe, as attractive as Rachel, have a doctorate like Ross or be as funny as Chandler or you’ve probably wanted the opposite, in any case to set the mood here I leave the song we’ve all hummed “I’ll be there for you” of The Rembrandts.
Now, in the right environment and having in mind all my friends and even feeling some nostalgia, according to many definitions I searched for the word “friends” or “friendship” I came to the conclusion that the famous phrase “friends are siblings that are chosen” is true, between millions and millions of people in the world you find few with which you feel comfortable being yourself, and you make them feel comfortable with their “I”, people you can trust, count, be silly dorky with, laugh and cry with, fight and reconcile with, and so on (with good luck) for “eternity.”
We have all been bad, good, excellent and the worst friends, but we usually try to be flawless, the interesting part of all this is that these “friends” are people we choose freely to share ourselves, and above all, picking up something from the beginning, “spend time together”. Personally I have never had a friend 100% virtual, although now I am a fan of some influencers and sent messages with my opinion by Instagram but I do not know if these people should be called “friends”, but the point is that almost 99.9 % of my relationships have started with intense physical contact, laughter in cafes, social plans, parties, meetings to cry and complain, use messenger late at night, meetings to share make-up or clothes before going out to a disco, meetings focused on telephone jokes and pijama parties to make our encounter last for endless hours, as I imagine those of many people reading this.
As always, for people who have been reading me, I tend to talk about a topic giving too many details and then reach a point, so rest assured that point will arrive, but you will have to keep reading.
It is amazing to have a good friend and to be a good friend, we are all evolving and so our friends evolve and it is amazing when this process happens together and us and our friends find ourselves traveling like in an orbit at the same speed. There are also friends for different things; friends for a party, friends for an advice, friends from work and the best (in my opinion) “friends without category,” these friends, as in multiple choice exams are the option “d) All of the above” and they can be counted with one hand, so they should be taken care of by following our mothers’ advice “like a little plant” by watering them every day (or almost).
I am infinitely grateful for my friends, I adore them, and I believe that at the age of 27, I know who I am and if we are together it is because we have seen the best and the worst of us and we have decided to accept ourselves, to care for ourselves and to love ourselves.
So now, having expressed the above, I can then reach my point, my advice is that at this time you change the soundtrack for the words that come next, and as at the beginning, we find a new mood, I considered that as I will speak of distances this song would be appropriate “Ain’t no mountain high enough” by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrel, because we have all seen Remember the Titans and we all love it (even if it´s more like a lovesong, I like to think I feel that way for any of my best friends).
Seventeen months without “physical” friends, how does that sound? Would you like it? For us it was a real challenge, I went to live with my boyfriend to Nicaragua for 1 year for his work, he had lived there two years before I arrived, and although we are very social people we did not have a group of friends and when we seemed to have found them we had to to change of city and now we have been living in Mazatlán (northwest of Mexico) for five months and it is literally starting again.
Of course we go to places where we meet new people, people who obviously go out with their group of friends and in their plan, and although it is true that we have met some people, we can not make a friendship and believe it is quite difficult .
Thankfully my boyfriend and I have an incredible relationship, just imagine that we have been together for 1343 days, of which 730 were long distance (Mexico and Nicaragua) and the remaining 613 living together, so in short we have 613 days being our only company and although we have no problem with that, it is true that all people need the “feeling of belonging” to a group of friends to feel that we evolve in an integral way, because yes, it is true that our relationship is stronger every day but I understand that we need to interact with other human beings. So it is obvious that our relationship is what I call “powerful” and that my boyfriend and I really have too much “chemistry” to be able to make us feel special 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Contradicting a little my opinion about the virtual media, I feel lucky to be able to use this channel of communication to have contact with the outside world and be able to send audios of 7 minutes with friends in Spain, call for hours to my friends from Mexico, to talk to my family spread around the world, to feel close to them, to laugh with them, to continue being part of our lives (thanks to facetime I could be part of the day in which one of my best friends got engaged) and to hope as we say “crossing our fingers” that the friendships we have are always stronger than the distance, because our friends at a distance have been an essential part of our life these past years, both my boyfriend and mine.
So my invitation for this week is to literally make those who are far away from us feel that we are close to them, to send them an email, a message, to telephone them, we do not know if they feel somehow abandoned, and we are all moved when an old friend or a friend who lives away sends us signals of life and then we can sing at all lungs “Oh baby there ain’t no mouuuuntaain hiigh enoooough, ain’t no vaaaalley looow enough” (probably in the same call) and then you will be watering your little plant.
This article is dedicated to all the people I love that have made me feel always close and that I am part of their lives, they have been there for me and they have let me be there for them and although I can count them with my hands I feel immensely rich .
Ahí nos vemos.