D is For… Determination

 In Americanoizing

Some weeks have gone by since I’ve written my column here in Americanoize. Don’t think that I have forgotten you guys, to the contrary I have taken the direction of the magazine so here I am, your very own, Editor in Chief. It’s definitely a new challenge in my career since I’ve always worked on print, but I’m always up to changes and new goals, scary? Yeah for sure .

Many things are different now and as I love to say, we are revamping the mag with new topics and amazing sections that I’m sure you are going to love (BTW I’m always here if you have themes you want to discuss). But many things have happened in the last couple of weeks where I have had insecurities and public PMS dramas (where I basically shared on my Insta Stories what was going on and were I got tons of feedback that many women go through the same thing, every damn month). I’m not going to lie, dealing with PMS is harder than you think, if you have it you definitely know what its like. Besides from your typical bloating, cramps and the occasional breakouts, I also deal with deep sadness, terrible insecurities, fatigue, anxiety and so many other symptoms that I can’t really explain. One day about a couple of weeks ago, I literally couldn’t get out of bed, just like that. One day I was fine and the next it seemed like a climb to the top of the Everest without oxygen.

But the only thing that kept me going was my determination. Ahh, my beautiful yet annoying ambition. There is nothing wrong with admitting that you want to achieve everything at once, rule the world and get an Oscar while having a latte. Well, not really getting manicures and caffeinated drinks but more of a working my ass off every single day from dusk till dawn. I want to have it all. The best job there is (which I have, trust me on this one), keeping my blog alive and of course the social media. But then comes trying to be the perfect wife, the perfect  sibling and having time to exercise and eat healthy while keeping all my appointments with my therapist. I’m exhausted just by writing it, oh and did I mention the long day I had yesterday while shooting four videos for my page? But then there was also today, and there will be a tomorrow with millions of appointments, photo shoots, deadlines, my pro bono styling sessions and keeping my dog happy (he has a very high maintenance personality and the need to go to bathroom in random moments of the day). But the determination is always there but I have also learnt the truth about my own expectations.

The need to radically accept that there is no such thing as perfection, no such thing as having it all, no such thing as being the most successful, the most achieved, the most wonderful human being on planet earth. As I mentioned earlier keeping my therapist’s appointments on check has helped me realize that frustration of not doing it all, will lead me nowhere. There is the need to have determination for sure, if you want to achieve something, but don’t ever confuse it with perfection or over-achievness (ok, that word doesn’t exist, but I’m tired) (see, already working on my own perfectionism).  So today’s column is all about accepting, and defining really well your priorities so you can have determination on the things that are worth it. Oh, and that its ok to have a public meltdown once in a while or having to stay one day in bed.

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