D is for… Denial

 In Americanoizing

D is for… denial

I was about to finish my dearest column for AmericaNoize Magazine, which I thoroughly enjoy, when I went online to do some fact checking before submitting it in. I was wondering around “the worst fashion trends of human history” when I saw that a lot of pages where open, so naturally I decided to close a few, that’s only when I realized that I closed my Word document where I had been typing on for the last hour.  My weekly column was erased, just like that, gone with the wind.

My first and more obvious reaction was, denial, of course, that’s what I usually do, deny things.

And don’t look at me like that, I know there are tricks and hacks here and there, but honestly there was nothing I could do to save it. That really got me thinking not only about my denying habits, but also the very own subject I was writing about, “the trends we wish would never reappear” and my denial of the fact that those are coming one by one, and that there is no human power in stopping them now.

Ok, I’m obviously exaggerating a little, maybe not ALL of them are coming at once but there are some that are here and I don’t know if I’m willing to accept them with arms wide open. It all started with the fact that bucket hats are back and not only are they back, but they are sold out in Saks.com, the Prada one to be precise. And this got me all worried about the side effects of these anti-trend trends. Are we forcing it too much? Is this about sarcasm-but-not-really kind of situation? What’s next? And here is where my mind span out of control, trying to figure out what the hell is going to happen in the seasons to come.

My fear number one was the “really low cut jeans”.

I mean, they had a mini comeback some seasons ago, but fortunately enough, the hidden power sources in fashion where able to stop them, can we stop them for good? Please? Let’s not forget that these tiny pieces of denim where sometimes accompanied by sexy, diamond incrusted G-strings. I died.


But then fear number two came running towards my thoughts without the need of googling it first, the velour tracksuits.

Can you remember the crazy success of these appalling shiny matchy-matchy outfits? And they had extra cool points if they had something “sassy” written in the butt. But feminist around the world including myself will fight against this terrible trend cause we shall not be objectified under any circumstance. We can handle the velour in a worst-case-scenario but never again shall we see them messages hanging out in people’s butts. And suddenly I insist, without the need of Google, I was wondering about all these trends that hunt me in my dreams.


The list goes on, the über bronzed 2000’s look, the “wet look” and I don’t mean the fabulous glossy editorial look, I’m talking about the all-gelled-hair-galore-gone-dry.

What else? Can you name a few? In the meantime I know we are all going to get accustomed to the things that will come and that we can’t stop, but if we can create some conscience around the fact that many of these will look much better in the past, then I rest my case.

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