D is for… Dancing through the art of social media
Have you ever felt unsure of what you posted? Was it smart enough? Funny enough? Do I look well? Do I look older, younger, better than others, skinnier, flawless? Was it stupid, should I erase it, does this speak about my actual values? Does this represent my character?
There can be a million things going through your mind when entering this virtual jungle that is all about external validation. I honestly know a very few people who don’t mind, not even a tiny bit on how their post is going to be perceived in the outer world. I have learnt through bad experiences that even when I can check all these boxes, it’s still not going to be liked as I wish it did.
While I’m expressing everything that is happening to me and putting it all out there, like my first column for AmericaNoize D is for… do overs… I still feel a chill though my spine if I get a negative comment or bad feedback, because it’s my experience, how I see the world! But that’s the thing, we all are looking for some sort of validation.
That what we are doing is cool, that we are worthy, that we matter in this society, that we are doing something for this world, at least that’s how I experience this interlaced dance. As the human experience itself, even from within our biology, our inner most primitive desires, we need the feeling that we are part of a tribe, because that is how the homo sapiens survived and perpetuated its own existence, by sticking together. That’s why it’s in our genes the need to be accepted, and what better way to do it than in our favorite platform of all, social media.
Navigating through this sea of content, if you can look closely, read between the lines you can see that the people behind are in the need of some of this precious validation. When people buy followers, what are they trying to say? That they are more powerful than the others with less followers? The sexy shots done by millions of girls that could be younger that 15?
The beautiful shots of people traveling around the world… what is everyone trying to communicate though these platforms? We are addicted to instant gratification, or Insta gratification should I say? (ok, really, bad joke, moving on). And what happens when your way of living is only measurable by the likes you have, like many influencers, then the stress just keeps getting higher. It’s scary for the people out there trying to make it on the online world, don’t you agree? And please don’t get me wrong these phenomena have been going on for years even before the internet (oh yeah, there was a time…), it was just less palpable.
But now I’m just getting out of subject here, and I’m not going to go on a lesson about the industrial revolution, so don’t get impatient with me, don’t you see I’m trying to get some validation here. But the truth is that I have learnt to view things in a non-judgmental way. First of all, by not being judgmental of the other people that are trying to make it, I empathize with their struggle I really can.
No more “what was that girl thinking with that post” or anything similar. But most important is to be less judgmental with myself, and you should do it to. It is also in the human condition to compare ourselves with others, and to be harsher with ourselves than with any other individual we encounter with.
And of course, no more self-pity (iughhh), no more “Oh, it looks like she has it all” kind of unnecessary thought. So those are my new rules on navigating this wonderful world of experiences, so it’s time to get me some validation and please do share this post. (Ugh didn’t learn a thing from this column, bye).
Follow Daniela on Instagram!