Why Can’t Girls Text First?

 In Americanoizing

Being a young woman living in what is well-known as a men’s world can be quite difficult at times and I’ll honestly tell you why.

This article’s inspiration came from a conversation I had with a friend a couple of days ago. I was telling her how stressful it can be at times to overthink what another person can perceive from your actions.

I’ll try to be clearer: there’s a boy I like hanging out with. Simple as that. He’s fun, he seems like the nicest person and I would LOVE to spend some time with him, but we don’t bump into each other that much, there’s no chance of me seeing him if I don’t make that happen.

Little disclaimer: I don’t want to sleep with him. As surprising as that may sound, girls don’t necessarily want to sleep with a guy if they find him nice. I simply don’t see him that way.

At the moment, I would just like to go out with him to appreciate each other’s company outside of the rare bumping into each other’s encounters. However, I can’t text him first. And do you want to know why? Simply because that’s not what “girls do”. And that is extremely stressful. Not from a girl-who’s-slave-of-the-system kind of stress’ point of view, but from the point of view of a girl that really just wants to hang out with a boy without him thinking she wants anything more. And the truth is… Even if I did. What’s the problem?

What annoys me the most though is the society we live in and the idea that girls surrounded by boys are necessarily lesbians or whores and there’s no in between. What stresses me the most is thinking I could actually build an amazing friendship or relationship with someone and I can’t because of what other people might think of it.

Most of the times, I would just not care and go straight to the point with people, but I consider myself quite a lucky person when it comes to confidence in personality, and I’m pretty sure one out of four girls would not actually have the courage to be honest and clearly state what her intensions are to someone of the opposite sex.

So, my question is: why the hell can’t women text first? Who said that? Who is in charge of deciding such a turning point for the start of any kind of relationship? Why can’t girls ask a boy out? Why is it so important?

I can blame the society and say that is primarily its fault but the truth is that probably most of the people are very conservative or like the idea of the man being the one in charge when it comes to relationships and friendships. Also, the truth is that if I’ll ask a boy out, the possibilities of him (and his group of friends he’s definitely telling about me) thinking that I want to sleep with him, date him and make him my boyfriend in the next week are very high.

Therefore, to all the girls out there feeling the same way, I want you to know you’re not alone. I know what it feels like and the only way to break the stereotype expectation is to react and not care at all of what other people might think. Be yourself, don’t care about gender, and simply ask the freaking guy out. If he’s worth your crush or your sympathy I’m pretty sure he’ll love it. If not, he was not worth your time in the first place.

Apparently, I’m a girl and I’m not supposed to text first, but I don’t really care and I’ll text first.

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