These boots were (n’t) made for walking
The fashion week in Mexico has just ended and I thought it would be a good idea to write about all that fashion that has fascinated me and for one reason or another I have not been able to use, it will be something like “clothes you wish to wear that you can never use”.
It is clear that many of the clothes on the catwalks are overloaded with a theatrical accent so that each piece looks much more exaggerated than it really is, so I will not talk about the clothes specific on the catwalks, I’m going to talk about that clothes that you can also find in the stores and that you try to convince yourself that you can use in some way and you end up buying to leave them forever in your closet, or the other that you do not and you leave in a fitting room.
“Chicheros” is the name I gave to those tiny underboob croptops that I think a normal person could only use in the following conditions: you will not make any movement with your body, the percentage that looks out of the “chichero” should be less than or equal to 20 – 30% of your boob, you have the “chichero” almost stapled to your body to avoid an epic malfunction waldrobe, because you are not a Jenner or a Hadid and you probably do not want your whole social circle to know your nipples . Do not get me wrong, I would love to be able to wear one of these tiny clothes and go through life showing the upper part of my abs (area to which colitis has not affected), but unfortunately I do not know if cause the society that surrounds me or for the world of complexes in my interior I do not think I can show the border between my breasts and my ribs.
The next fashionable trend that hurts me not being able to use are those huge platforms that we all saw in Marc Jacobs’ last year’s fashion show, imagine being able to use a shoe that will make you look more than 20 centimentrs higher, stylize your figure and also be the girl with the best shoes at the party.
I do not know if anyone has tried to use any of these shoes, personally I use shoes normally with 12 – 15 centimeters of platform (I can not use stilettos), I am looking to be as comfortable as possible and I enjoy wearing heels, but I’m not going to lie that after dancing for hours my foot starts to burn and it is much worse when I remove my heels and all the pain is potentized and literally I feel the entire sole of my foot warm until I fall asleep. The next day it hurts from the sole of the foot to the head as if someone had hit my knees, spine or neck, and I do not know if I am aging or someone actually hits me while I sleep, but every day is more unbearable and I am inclined to go out in boots or tennis. Returning to the shoes, I am still impressed that the models have handled them so well on the catwalk and that none have broken their ankles, I would love to use some of these platforms and look from another planet or look like Daphne Blake (although I think that she couldn’t stand them when it came to solving mysteries) but then it would seem as if someone put something in my drink and I would make a terrible ridiculous trying to walk like that. And I really do not imagine sitting all the time at a party, I’m more of getting up to dance, so I’m definitely not a candidate for this trend.
Trying to sound a little inclusive with the male gender I want to talk about a manly tendency (which I´m not crazy for) that really makes me laugh a lot and I do not understand very well, my boyfriend has a beard and I know it is more important than his passport when it comes to taking care of her, but I can not to conceive the idea of seeing my boyfriend taking hours to trim his beard, put on glitter, Christmas spheres, paint it with colors, comb it in a crazy way, in short, turn his beard into a canvas to make any kind of work of art, I do not know If any man is considering it, I’ve only seen them in “The Gay Beards” and I really admire all the work they do to show off such creative beards, but I can not visualize them eating the typical Mexican corn, or a hamburger, or indeed anything, I think they would have to sit still all the time so if someone asked me I do not know if I would like to see my boyfriend like that, I would find it fun and for sure there would be some laughter, at the same time that I would push him to the bathroom so that he could bathe and return with a “normal” beard.
Another trend, that I secretly love, is the famous “Kardashian see through”, name that I have given to this trend because I think we have all seen too many Kardashian nipples (not that I have something wrong with that I am a faithful lover of “Free the nipple”), but it’s like the trend of “Chichero” I can not imagine my friends knowing my nipples, besides whenever I see famous nipples they are all perfect and it always seems that they have just touched an ice, to which I refer, nipples behave in a free way, we can not control them sometimes they are “awake” others are just standing still, and I do not know how this trend looks with nipples still all the time. I would love to be able to go out with one of these blouses, I imagine that they should make you feel tremendously sexy and we all enjoyed the moment when we took off the bra, so I imagine that being without a bra all day must be extremely comfortable. But unfortunately I can not visualize myself this way and I have not seen anybody “normal” walking down the street in a mesh of tulle showing the nipples, for this I decided to include this trend to my list of clothes they use that is unusable.
There is a trend that I would definitely love to use for a wedding or event that forces me to wear a long dress and is the trend of “cleavage in the leg” I do not know if it can be called like that or if in the fashion industry it have an specific name, but for you to understand, I mean dresses that if you have a long leg will make you look powerfully sexy, but also powerfully immobile. It is one thing to show nipples that both men and women have, and another very different is that a mistake in your wardrobe show any percentage of your vagina.
I can understand that the groin, the side of the leg and the hip bone are very “sexy” areas, but I do not know if I would love to see vaginas everywhere (probably someone thinks otherwise), but most importantly I would not like to be showing my vagina everywhere. It is a tremendously dangerous trend, any false move and you are condemned for life, it sounded something dramatic, but anyway, it will take a few months for a group of people to forget that they saw your vagina. Also as I mentioned throughout the text, I am a person who enjoys moving around at parties, jumping, trying to breakdance, dancing without control, I can not visualize myself dancing with a dress of this style and although I must accept that I would probably look very sexy (it seems that my self-esteem is elevated this morning), I would feel useless so this is a type of cleavage that I could not handle.
I could really go on and on with trends that I like and that I can not use, thigh boots that are meant to frame a turned leg and that end up crumpled on my ankles, transparent heels that end up fogged by the sweat of the feet, I’m not going to talk about makeup because there are crazy trends that I do not take into account since I’m not a woman that tends to make up a lot but we’ve all read something about braids on the eyebrows or fur on the nails, all the time new ideas arise, in clothes, in shoes, in makeup, and it is impossible for me to follow up on all of them, so I decided to choose the ones I really considered using.
I do not know if there is an invitation as such this Wednesday, I can not invite you to show your nipples or your vagina, or to stick 500 g of glitter on your facial hair, but what I can do is remind you as the saying goes “De la moda lo que te acomoda” in English would be something like “Fashion, whats fits you” or something like that, I suppose, but in Spanish it sounds very good. We have to find what we like about fashion, what makes us feel comfortable and above all, sure of ourselves. We are not going to put ourselves at risk using platforms of 30 cm, but if any of you have the intention to try them, remember to take care of your back. On my side, I will try to be a little risky with the fashion that I like, maybe buy a tulle body and instead of showing my nipple find a good bra that makes my outfit work, accept that not all fashion is made for me and look for alternatives for what I like. And to those who are out there risking every day my most honest congratulations and admiration.
Ahí nos vemos!