18. “I’m No Beauty Queen, I’m Just Beautiful (Real) Me”
I am 27 years old, and I believed, like many people, that the problem of acne was something exclusive to puberty. I have been dealing with acne problems for more than 10 years, and this is a cry for help hoping that my archenemy who lives within me who is responsible for producing it will hear me, and if so, “stop”.
It is one of my biggest traumas and although there are times when acne comes and goes, I always notice a mark, or an inflammation and it is a never ending story. I have an intense “envy” to people who have a porcelain skin that looks like peach skin all soft and velvety. (For obvious reasons I do not have many pictures showing off my acne).
I tried everything, diets, home remedies, honey, coconut, garlic, toothpaste, ice, face masks, creams with benzoyl peroxide and salicylic acid, special soaps, activated charcoal, pills with isotretinoin that damaged me so much that I woke up with my lips stuck, I bled besides that I felt globally fatal, I have almost polished my face with microblading, I have done peelings and the last thing I tried and that although not to cover 100% my need but it has served me is the oil tea tree from The Body Shop (if you read this you should consider me your ambassador and give me a product hahaha), and some facial tissues “One Step Original Clear Pad” from COSRX that I bought in a store called Momiji (I do not know if only sell in Mexico) but they have worked for me to feel less disinflated.
The point is that I have tried, in my opinion, almost everything and honestly I have not found a solution to reduce my outbreaks, or the time that lasts the outbreak on my face, or that does not hurt or itching and especially to keep my face from getting marked.
Among the many conflicts I might have, this one takes the prize to my # 1 complex, and it’s possible to feel that no matter what I do, I’ll wake up, wash my face and discover a pimple. I hate long beauty routines, I’m very basic (probably that’s what I do wrong), I get up, I bathe, I wash my face with a soap “Cleanance” by Avène, sometimes I put on a Bioderma moisturising compensating care “Sébium Hydra” recommended by one of my thousands of dermatologists, and always a sunblock that I personally love because it’s super liquid and I do not feel at all greasy, it’s the “Fusion Fluid 50+” from ISDIN, and that’s it. Normally I only put blush on my cheeks or mascara if I’m going to go out, so you can see my beauty routine lasts a scant 3-5 minutes.
Every night I clean my face with one of the COSRX wipes, and then I put the tea tree oil in the buds to try to reduce them, and although I notice that the ones I gave the treatment decreased a bit, there is always a new one to torture me and finally some nights because I’m not so constant, I put some rose water. (Probably all of the above sounded like a promoter or some beauty blog, but no, I only speak in a natural way of the products I use, each skin is different and should receive different treatments)
Then I never consider to make up my whole face and cover my imperfections, besides that it gives me an immense laziness to remove makeup, I hate to feel the face all doughy and stiff. Because it does not matter how “cool” and “light” a makeup is, it will never be as natural as my skin itself and I love being natural and have not found anything that makes me feel that way.
Fortunately my acne is not one of those that are very invasive, because there are many types of acne, those that sprout like pimples and blackheads, those that have a white tip (that you should NEVER squeeze), cystic acne, among many others and there are people with acne in the back, chest, neck, etc … So within my tragedy I can say that my acne only invades my face and they are small nodule without tip that are usually extremely annoying and painful besides that when they appear it seems that they seek to stay for life.
I understand that there are worse problems happening in the world and it is probably selfish to have dedicated an article to this problem considering all the important movements in favor of progress and the empowerment of women, and here they have me suffering from feeling a volcanic mountain range in my face , but each person is a universe and today I felt that this “foolishness” ruined my day.
What can I do to stop feeling like a pubert? I need someone to share some good and workable remedies to recover my skin and feel “beautiful”. Honestly for me, acne was a problem of normal people living in the real world and thinking that a model or actress has some problem similar to mine sounds ridiculous, I always think that probably if I had a lot of money I would have very expensive skin treatments that would they would leave her as soft as a baby and I would never have to worry about an “imperfection” again, but suddenly Kendall Jenner appears in the Golden Globe and shows us that having acne is “normal” and that it does not make you anything ugly , I say you just have to see her to understand that she is beautiful and I say, although I do not think I see her as her, because we humanise the acne complex more, we understand that money is not everything and then letting it go we dedicate time to another complex (hahaha bad advice ).
What did not fit me very much is the version of “I am natural” that wanted to present us with that injected lips (of envy, since I have thin lips), but well I do not dedicate myself to criticize celebrities and honestly everyone should do what they want with your body, as long as it does not harm others or puts themselves at risk. But I do have to thank her for normalizing the issue of acne and motivating everyone to talk about it less satanized, so it was really sad to see how media react and try to bully her.
The last weeks I have been participating in a group that is super pro of the idea of loving and accepting oneself created by my friend Dani Von Wobeser (I already consider her my friend hahaha) and it has been incredible because she brings many projects to generate awareness of truly accepting that we are valuable people being as we are and that our natural version is our real beauty, with the idea of ”#normalizingthereal and #radicalacceptance (# that sounds incredible in Spanish), we are a group of people in a chat that from feeling that there are things we do not love about us we find strength in the messages of others, in their experiences, in their knowledge, even sharing the same complex.
I feel like in a support group where during the process of wanting to organize a strong awareness campaign, I find a lot of support to understand that probably having acne is not the end of the world, and not because it is a big problem or not, because that it is obvious that at that moment for me it represents a madness, if not because it makes you find a state of peace of mind where you discover that it does not define who you are and above all that it is not a limitation to be the most authentic version of yourself.
Being honest with you is quite complicated to deal with a complex of this type, as I imagine it is dealing with any complex, I hate the photos “infraganti”, I begin to analyze myself and I discover the “ugly” that I see, it costs me in general work I feel that I look good in a photograph, it makes me nervous if I feel that people are looking at my face because I feel in evidence, I hate looking for how to arrange my hair so that I can hide my “little problem”, I take lots of precautions in my daily behavior not to show that this bothers me, in short I could list everything I hate and do to hide that I have acne but then in the end even if nobody discovers me I know what I have when I see myself in the mirror, and think about not accepting something from me makes me even more crazy.
So my invitation for this Wednesday consists of the following, first if you know how to help me please do not hesitate to contact me and help me recover a bit the softness of my skin, secondly it is very important that you stop being so hard with yourselves, do not criticize in a destructive way, do not generate thoughts of nonconformity with their appearance and start on the contrary to understand that the physical thing with the passage of time will change, probably today I will be bothered by acne, tomorrow gray hair or wrinkles, then my weight, and so on continuously to verify that I will never be 100% comfortable with my appearance, but the important thing is to devote energy to embellish our interior, and start investing in what will always be with us. I also want to invite you to be attentive to campaigns that promote self-love, acceptance and above all fair treatment with ourselves.
Ahí nos vemos!